Childrens DVD Giveaway on TCC!

I have decided to enter this giveaway to with a DVD for the little girl I babysit. She loves Angelina Ballerina, and it would be exciting to win.

Two Classy Chics hold several giveaways on their blog, twoclassychics.blogspot.com

You can also find their button on my blog here and they are added to my blogroll!

Check them out!

Bubble Babez Giveaway on Two Classy Chics

The first time I heard about Bubble Babez was on YouTube through the lovely Dana (@danalajeunesse). I have been tempted to try their products, but have not saved enough as of late. I really want to go all out, but I don't want to get too carried away.

I saw a RT (re-tweet) on Twitter about the contest. It ends today, and I thought I would enter. And even if I don't win, I will still want to buy from them!

The contest is held at twoclassychics.blogspot.com, they have a TON of giveaways on their site! If you missed out on this, check them out for more. I have them on my blogroll as well as a button here!

You won't be disappointed!

Rated M for Mature (Vent)

One of my biggest pet peeves is when adults don't act their age and LACK the ability to register responsibility. Many of the examples that come to mind have no excuse not to act like a level-headed adult.

Some "popular" examples are: the Britney Spears incident, Lindsay Lohan, or the most recent; Christina Aguilera getting arrested for public intoxication. Two out of the three are PARENTS no less, and it makes me sick to see these parents acting like unintelligent underage teens!

But I have also seen some examples in my personal life. I shouldn't name names, and I won't, but I get that urge every now and then when one of these (what I like to call) "sudden screw-ups" gets this bright idea to post pictures of how much alcohol they've consumed. Or show how much they party. Then turn around and express how much life sucks and how they don't want to live.

I call them "sudden screw-ups" because they made smarter choices in the past and were not so careless, at one point in time.

But aside from the fact that depression is a mental condition, the other issues here are for one; unacceptable. I cannot stress enough that you are a fucking PARENT, and need to focus on caring for your children MORE than hanging out with people younger than you, drinking and partying. You missed out on that option when you brought a child into the world.

There are more adult ways to enjoy life, but that takes maturity and a bit more sophistication than displaying pictures on Facebook with the look on your face that shows you are more than just shit-faced.

If your children mean the world to you, then prove it. If you keep up this tasteless way of living/parenting, then your children will and SHOULD be taken from you. You have, essentially, two choices: straighten up and be the mature adult you NEED to be in order to survive; or keep ruining your life, losing everything and everyone you love.

You will wonder why you are lonely, depressed and have a bad functioning liver and/or kidney (if issues are alcohol related). Quit your bad habits, work hard to earn money to take care of your kids and yourself.

As a parent, your children should always come first. Not the bottle. Not drugs or parties. Your children and keeping a level-mind. Then, and only then, will happiness occur and life will fall easily into place.

Long Time, No Blog

It has been too long since the last time I blogged, and I apologize for being MIA. I feel this post will be all over the place {this blog already is, as well as my brain}. But I have been feeling extremely creative as of, the last couple of hours. I've been wanting to be creative the past few days, but I haven't had the motivation. Until now.

Well, the snow is now upon us, or at least on me here in New Philly. The 60 degree weather a couple of days ago seriously got my hopes up, it's practically a blizzard out there now!
I really crave warm spring weather now that the snow is back.

I have already daydreamed about what I want to do when the warmer months come.
I'd like to get my fishing license. Buy a camouflage hat. Buy a decent pair of sunglasses. Buy cowboy boots in the near future as well.

But then that got me thinking, my creative side suddenly kicked in and has been kicked into over-drive. I have been making a list of the artistic things I would like to try and/ or get back into.

I haven't painted since I moved here. I've had painting ideas in my head for months.
But now, it's more than painting (like with the acrylics I had been using before). Now I want to teach myself how to use watercolor paints. I want to play with my charcoal pencils some more. I also want to start making things like: jewelry {simple necklaces}, headbands.

As some of you might know I want to lose a bit of weight and change my eating habits completely. When I am able, and comfortable to, I want to start wearing dresses. Buy floral-y tops, paired with jeans (eventually jean shorts) and cowboy boots.
Cowboy boots, thats another thing. I want a nice pair, and pair it with a lot of outfits. I want a more country girl style, at least every now and then.

I will probably do some thrift store shopping. I can always rely on finding interesting things there. I want to be more thrifty. That's another form of creativity.

I also want to someday learn how to sew with a sewing machine. To make my own clothes, just simple stuff. Dresses and tops mostly.

Either way, I will most likely find myself in Jo-Ann Fabrics in the not so distant future.
I'm sure I will update you with all the things I have started to do, all the projects I complete. Maybe you will find a post about me opening an etsy shop.
You'd be the first to hear about it, I'm sure.

I might sell some of my photography prints on there. I photograph mostly nature.
Like my fish. OH, yes, I have goldfish now. Me and my honey got together and made it a little project. I love them. I have pictures but have difficulties uploading, but I will share when I get it figured out!

I have been wanting a fish for the past few weeks. But I will write more about them in another post.

I also need to get back into my book reviews. I'm such a slacker! Haha.
Maybe I will create a blog for my photography, a blog for my book reviews, and keep this one as personal. Or just lump it together to keep it interesting.

Anyway, I love feedback, whenever I get it.
It's always appreciated.

Until next time,

Much love.

<3 Britt.

I felt like sharing..

The last two posts were different from anything I've posted. I wrote those two, I'm not even sure if I should call them poems, September 2010. It was a different way of writing, for me, and I tear up whenever I re-read them.

I think I will have to start writing this way. It was easy and the words just flowed. And that's what you want, a lot of the time.

I know this is a short post, but I wanted to try and explain the last two entries. Let me know what you think.
Should I write more like that? And should I post them here?

Never Gone (9/21/10)

There is a weight, too heavy to lift, surrounding me. I want nothing more than to leave it there. It lets me runaway from where I am. But leaves me with a consequence. Never can I please it. Never does it like my choices.
The only way to lose it, is to lose myself.

I am lost, only focused on my vision before me. A numbing pain is coursing through me. A mental numbness. An emotional drowning. I can not let go. I can not walk away. The only way I see out, is to end the pain.
To end who I am.

I have been corrupted. Manipulated. I can not keep this life that is getting no where. I get no where.

I see myself going through. I feel the vibrations of your call. Once it stops, it starts again. I imagine you pissed. I imagine you worried. I wonder if you hate me.

I wonder if you blame yourself. For pushing me away. For pushing me to this edge. For not showing me another way out. For making life a better choice.

I wonder.

I see you now. I wish I could tell you what it is like. It felt heavy at first.
Like I was soaked to my core. There was a pressure, but now it is gone. I feel no more physical pain. I want to cry, but nothing comes. I want to say I am sorry, but no words can form. I want to wrap my arms around you, but they do not move. I am forever still. Forever standing. Alone.

I can hear you. I can hear the pain in your voice. I remember how that kind of pain felt. You are looking at me now. Looking right through me. Making me feel empty.
You made me feel whole. I hope you know that.

I can not blame you for this. It is not your fault. You are not the only one to do those things to me. I have done worse to myself. I am no longer there.
This is my fault.

I let the darkness close in on me. I knew I was close when I could not feel the vibrations of your calls. I still see you calling. You do not know where I am.
I wish I could tell you. I am safe. I am not far. You will not like what happened.
You will not like what I let happen to me.

I do not feel hot. I do not feel cold. I do not feel a glow. I do not hear anyone calling me. I only hear you. I only see you. I only feel you. And I miss it.

The only feeling that was ever worth living for, I no longer have.
I let it go. I let you go. I didn't mean to. I want to do you no harm.
Now I no longer can. No more fights. No more bad times.

But no more good times. No more future. No more happiness.
I know I was selfish. I know I was a coward. I wonder if you feel me near.
You look up to the sky now. Your face is damp. Your eyes are glazed with fear and sadness. Your bottom lip quivers. Your entire body shivers.

Oh how I wish I could hold you. Oh how I wish I was there to wipe your tears, calm your fears and shivers. I have hurt you more than I ever thought was possible. I have hurt you more than you deserve. I think you now understand loss. But please, do not stop living for me. I do not know if we will see each other if that happens.

I do not see anyone else. I do not walk, nor do I float. I am all here and I am not hurt. I think of a place I would like to be and I am there. But I do not know how I got there.

You are looking at your phone now. I am looking over your shoulder.
You are looking at my picture. Your eyes sprinkle the screen with drops.
I wish even more to take back what I have done. Can I just lay where I left myself? Can I just force one more breath?

Let me try. Oh please, let me try!
But I will stay a little longer. I am not ready to leave you now. I do not know if I will be back. You whisper my name. I feel a breeze. Can that be? Is it me?
It blows against your cheek. My hand is there as well. I remember how it feels.
You are so warm. But I do not feel cold.

I want to make you a promise. But you can not hear me. My hand caresses your cheek now. You hold your breath. Do you feel me? Do you know I am here?
You glance around, but you are alone. You do not see me. You whisper that you love me. I whisper back, in your ear.

I am pulling away. I can not control this. I do not know where I am going.
I see myself. I am back with me. I am getting closer and closer to myself. I am over top. My chest it moves. My heart it beats. I fade away, into darkness.

I cough abruptly. My chest, it hurts. My body is no longer numb. My eyes, they burn. I catch a breath. I feel the beat in my chest. I look up at the sky. I am now alive. Or was I still. I do not know what happend to me. I see your calls that I missed. Phone to ear, I hear your voice. It shakes and I find it hard to speak. Can I still? There is no way to explain what happened. I feel like I have no time to waste.

"I am sorry," I say. "I love you."
You gasp. I hear you cry. And we are quiet for a while.
And that is okay with me. As I catch my breath, I smile.
I can not be without you again.

Time (something I wrote a few months ago)

(9/22/10)

No light, no reassurance from the eyes I trust the most.
I look longingly into the deep seas of blue. Hoping for a wave.
A movement. A shimmer of hope. A glint of happiness.
But I find none.

A sea of lonely consumes me. I am left with nothing.
My hopes and dreams are shattered.
They crash against the pavement. Then against the mighty rocks.
I feel a layer of heat around me. Then a cold breeze cuts
through me.

I do not move against the sand. The sand surrounds my feet.
I close my eyes. I let it take me. Away from the pain.
I do not suffer. I do not wake.

I am still breathing. I do not move.
I am thinking. Thinking of you.
How I wish you were right next to me.
You move me in a way I can not move myself.

You have kept me safe for a long time.
I can not find a way to thank you.
I thought time was on our side, but it was the enemy.
It took you away. I curse time. It hates me.
And I hate it.

I hate it for taking so long. I hate that it is always the answer.
No one knows how horrible it is. No one understands how painful.
Time is sharp. Time is quick. Time is heavy, slick, and thick.
Time moves slowly. Time stands still.

Time manipulates. And captures you against your will.
Time takes advantage. Time feeds on your every breath.
Time consumes you. Time becomes you. Time is your fear.

I see no light upon the sea of blue surrounding me.
I feel no warmth. I feel no cold. I feel no fear.
There is nothing to hold. I am lost and alone.
You have not found me. I do not feel if you are near.
I only wish that I could hear the sound of your voice.
Whisper my name. Tell me that time is on our side, again.

Please tell me that you are back and here to stay.
Don't let time take you away.