It's only going on the third month of me living here, and I'm just now starting to see it for what it's worth. Before I moved here all I have come to know this place for was Andy, his cows, the farm.
Now that I'm here, I'm finding ways to make the time to myself enjoyable. I've taken to babysitting 3 mornings a week, with possible Wednesday evenings. I also agreed to babysit this Saturday. Heather *(the woman I sit for) is making it a day for herself and her husband. She'll have a pizza delivered while they're out for me and Ellie to eat. I've been wanting pizza lately.
It's a way to make some extra cash, taking the extra days. It's easy work, tiring, and also rewarding. Spending time with little kids is what I've gotten used to in my early teens. I enjoyed people depending on me for a change, and that might sound selfish. I think that's also when I really got into helping people. I like to think I'm really generous (once you get to know me). In my earlier years I've always wanted to have kids. As I got older (up until now) I enjoy watching kids that aren't mine, for money. It's a fair exchange I think. I get to see the child grow and learn new things. I know I'm only a temporary person in their life, but sometimes it's those times that are crucial. They mean something.
Watching children comes naturally to me. It might be hard to believe, as much as I bicker with my younger brother, but the relationship is different, obviously, when you're related. I prefer babysitting over the fantasy of having kids of my own. It's a nightmare that has a lot of room for screwing up. When they're your own, I can't imagine how to teach things the right way. They can only have so many "How to" books. But there's the fact that you can give them back once you're done with them. I've always heard that from other people. And I agree. I go through a little bit of what I'd have to handle if I were to have my own. And with that said, I would not be upset if I were to not have kids. And it's possible I won't. With my PCOS, I don't think I'd be able to anyway.
But back to my admiration of where I live.
I didn't have the pleasure of taking a short trip to Amish Country before I moved here. It would take a lot more gas, money, and time. I love living close. I love being able to take in my neighboring surroundings. I anxiously await the fall. When the trees start to change, you can bet your bottom I'll be in my car with my camera, capturing the rolling hills of color. I might even make a pit stop for apple cider.
I really grasp for the simple life. By being able to take in my surroundings, knowing that I'm not far from home, and seeing how beautiful it is, is very comforting. I feel like every bit of what I want is right at my fingertips. Surrounding me with fresh air and the opportunities I've been longing for.
I've always been a big fan of the country. I think even more so as I got older. I eventually appreciated the time I found for myself. To develop these hobbies (photography and painting) that can make me feel even closer to nature. And that's the main thing that draws me to my photography and paints. Nature. The country. The glorious life that surrounds me, daily. I can't get enough.
There are a few reasons why I'm drawn to scenic photography/painting. You can't mess up. You can't go wrong. There is not a wrong angle or subject. You are not limited to what you can create. It's already created for you, your job is to capture it. I enjoy capturing the moments that catch my eye. The scenery that makes me daydream. The images I picture when I think of the country.
Whereas, when you have a person (or one single topic) that can't be altered like nature. You can't take your favorite pieces and throw them together like you can with nature. Nature allows you to do that. Nature accepts you.
I know I'm probably sounding like some tree hugging hippie, but I'm really letting the wind embrace me while I'm capturing the moments on camera. I let it take me away. Only then can I snap a picture and be satisfied with the result.
It's something to think about.
I haven't done a lot of babysitting, but I used to watch my Mom's bosses' kids regularly for a couple years. Even though they were spoiled brats, I loved what I did. It was the greatest feeling to hear them tell me they wish I was their sister. Two years ago, I would have completely agreed with your view on babysitting v. having children. But now that the girls I babysat are old enough to take care of themselves, I really miss them. I saw them grow and change for so long. They became part of my family. It's been over a year since I last saw them. It's hard to accept that I will never be able to take care of them again, and I won't be there as they continue to grow up.
ReplyDeleteHaving my own kids is definately not something that will happen soon. I mean, I'm still in high school. But I do know I want them some day. The thought of going through labor is...not a pleasant one, but I'll probably get over that...or adopt a cute little Asian baby.
I'm the complete opposite of you when it comes to nature. I enjoy being in natural environments and I appreciate the beauty, but I'll take an industrialized area any day. I suppose it's because I was raised in the city, loved it, and was then forced to leave. I couldn't help but automatically hate everything in my new rural-ish town.